Intention: 2020 Word of the Year

2020 Word of the Year: Intention

No matter how you write it, or your interpretation, living on purpose, with purpose, is my goal for the year.

The quiet space in between is where I thrive.

Grace and space

It’s been a huge year of change for me and I’m setting my goal of the year with: INTENTION 🖤

2019 gave me the opportunity to Streamline – my 2019 Word of the Year. I’ve now carved out space, created room, to act with intention.

I look forward to more creative endeavors this year as the yoke of obligation has lifted and my path is cleared to stop chasing butterflies. They are beautiful, but so elusive. As the old adage goes, a butterfly will light on your shoulder when you stop chasing and are still.

2019 was a transformative year for me. I’ve left groups, relationships, and projects which were draining me and my family. My boys are forging their own paths as we all begin to live with more intention.

My oldest son has decided he no longer wants to be a homeschooler; he is ready to move on. Of course, this is what every mother, every home educator, should be joyous for – and I am. My child has taken ownership of his own education. He’s carefully considering his options for his future and is ready to embark on the path. While I was elated with his choice, I had no idea the agony he had been going through to arrive there. Would I be angry? Would he regret it? What if he wanted to come back to homeschooling? What if he never wanted to come back? I’m just supposing what some of these questions could be he asked himself. He is a very introspective young man. It was the right decision for him, and, thus, the right decision for our family. This, however, sent me scrambling to finish his transcript at we looked at programs, schools, and colleges to see what the right fit would be. He began classes in December and has settled right in. We couldn’t be happier for him.

But….

It’s a huge shift in our home. Dare I say, more contented and peaceful.

Reflecting on 2019, my anxiety roared through our home. It didn’t start with my oldest wanting to stop home educating, that came only this fall. Much earlier in the year, I was shocked to learn an older friend of my younger son was sending inappropriate messages online. It was sneaky and under our radar; I couldn’t believe it. This was a boy I’d known for years, a family we were relatively close to. To have that kind of violation of trust sent me reeling. I thought, “I home educate, I should have known. I should have seen what was happening,’ but I didn’t. I blamed myself. Full of shame for not protecting my son, and anger at the offender, I shut down. Migraines became my weekly struggle. I was losing control of the protection I thought I had afforded our happy little family.

If I couldn’t protect them now, in my home, under my watchful eye – how could I expect to teach them how to protect themselves from danger?

Shrouded in doubt, I did what I always do when I don’t know the answers. Once I got over the initial shock and communications with the offending boys family, I started making changes. I read. I was curious. I found the words, the information, the education to give my boys. We worked together in finding how to create boundaries to keep people who don’t have our best interests at heart at bay. We talked ad nauseum the dangers of strangers, but also friends and family, could pose. To not allow inappropriate communication or behavior go unnoticed. To stand up to the individual, talk to us, confide in your brother, or one of our trusted adults.

Little did I know, this was the beginning of letting my children go; the art of trusting their judgement, their choices. Allowing them to try new things, come back for help, and do it all over again. In short, my boys are no longer the little boys of yore. They aren’t the wee lads of my youthful parenting. These boys are still my sons, but they are growing into the responsible, reliable, respectful young men we’ve tried to raise them to be. They’ll make mistakes, we all do – our humanity prevents us from being anything but imperfect in our actions.

Now that I’ve cut the waste, and streamlined a good part of my life, home, and family, now it’s time to do more.

I’ve known for months, my 2020 Word of the Year would be: Intention.

How was 2019 for you? Do you use a Word of the Year to focus yourself?

Happy New Year!

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