Bikurgurl

#MeToo

Pinned to the top of my Twitter Feed is this post I retweeted from Kayla Todd: Victims being asked to relive the victimization creates more pain #MeToo

Kayla’s post was a quote from Lindy West who said: “ “I wish women didn’t have to rip our pasts open & show you everything & let you ogle our pain for you to believe us.” – Lindy West #MeToo (October 16, 2017)

I am saddened when I relive some of my own experiences, it weighs heavily on me. I also realize part of the reason I started my blog was to use my voice. To voice my thoughts, concerns, and impart my small part to make the world a better place.

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Social media is full of women stepping forward, humans acknowledging the harassment, abuse, sexual misconduct — particularly by men in authoritative positions. Fearing retribution either in the workplace, in the education system, or in their lives, having to carry this burden is enough.

To have to explain the circumstances is victimizing the victim again. And again. And again.

As Alex Harnack posted on Twitter: “If you see some women not posting #metoo chances are they’ve still been harassed but feel silenced by a society that tends to punish the woman who was harassed and not the man who harassed her” (October 16, 2017)

Shaming runs rampant in our society — trying to be better than or more than. Why can’t we realize there is enough room for us all. Each as individuals to be seen for the beauty we have inside, the light that shines in each of us, there is enough ____LOVE_______ (but you fill in the blank for your situation) to go around. The idea of putting others down to bolster ourselves? Harassment or belittlement? It speaks more to the person harassing than the victim being harassed. We all need love. We can all lift each other up.

Amity Adrisi, a local King 5 Seattle News Morning Anchor and Reporter, shared her story. On the air. I love the way she frames her story — She lifts herself up and gives herself grace and space every day.

 

I’ve written quite a bit about Grace and Space we deserve to give that grace and space to ourselves and each other. It sickens me to read the stories and see how it’s affected every one of us — women, men….humans. Whether you have been abused, witnessed abuse, or helped the abused; even if you are the abuser — the time has come. Stop. Stop sweeping it under the carpet. Stop making excuses for the behavior, the words, the physicality, the judgement.  I consider how long it’s taken for sexual abuse and harassment of women has come to the forefront this week: it’s on the heels of many other social ‘norms’ being questioned. It’s about damn time. It’s time for us to air our ‘dirty little secrets’.

Together we stand…

We don’t have to tell our story – as women, we know the story. We’ve lived the lurid details. We deserve better, we deserve to feel empowered as women, we need to continue to band together — work with other marginalized groups — for the revolution to continue ❤

@Bikurgurl_watermark

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5 thoughts on “#MeToo

    1. Reena,

      I finally got the chance to read this article and was willing to hear the writer through – though I don’t personally agree – until a reference was made to a hypothetical situation in which the writer would be okay with a rape joke unless he/she had been raped, then it wouldn’t be funny.

      I think that the power behind the movement is being in a world where rape, misogyny, groping, glass ceilings, gender bias are ‘funny if it doesn’t affect those of us laughing at the rest of you’, is the whole point. Women especially, but all gendered people, have to live with these false representations of what is acceptable in society. There’s never a good time to tell a rape joke, a gay joke, belittling people based on their gender or persuasion — and that’s the point.

      While I don’t know about the woman who started a movement 10 years ago, I know that in this day and age of social media and bringing to light the many, varied biases women, men, people of color, have to endure every day – based on their gender, persuasion, or skin color – men and women alike need to understand it’s no longer the rest of us who should hide in the shadows. We shouldn’t have to endure sexual harassment or sexual abuse in the workplace. Period. Certainly not in the United States, a first world country which has such tremendous influence on the world stage.

      However, our current President, the working environments documented on social media, people {read, predominately white men in the US} in power need to understand their words can intimidate. Human Resources departments who are ‘supposed’ to uphold ethics and standards at companies, at the end of the day, are really in place to protect the company and it’s management from harm. To protect shareholders and their profits, Human Resources, where one would normally report unwanted sexual advances, harassment, and abuse, usually facilitates the women and men who report incidents to their managers and suffer retribution. Until our workplaces can embrace equality – with treatment, wages, and expectations of standards – I’ll continue to embrace the #MeToo Movement.

      Thank you for bringing this article to light.

      Like

      1. I fully agree with you. It is an invisible bonding that sustains the anti-women culture, but a similar bonding is not evident on the side of the victims. The mindset is ‘If it has not happened to me, I need not worry about it.’

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh so true on this, and so many subjects. I find that I’m either caught up too much in myself and my own life or just simply unable to relate. With the #MeToo Movement, I feel it is bigger than women, bigger than only sexual assault, but encompasses all of us who feel maligned by the ubiquitous ‘man-in-charge’ who does what’s best for the corporation bottom line finances or for those personally in charge — never for the common good. How better to begin a dialogue?

        Liked by 1 person

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