Learning Curves, Blogging, Life, and My Garden

I find that life keeps throwing me curveballs. No excuses, just sayin’…

At first, I thought these changes were just me — feeling the victim, caught unawares. I don’t like feeling sorry for myself or otherwise unable to manage situations. However, in some situations we just have to take a deep breath, pray, and leave the rest to God.

So, what’s been going on…

Well, to begin with, my health is really good now. My cancer diagnosis is but a memory. It’s been a huge change and cathartic being able to connect with other writers, cancer survivors, and people facing life-long health issues. I love to write, read, and chase topics down the proverbial rabbit hole by researching and discussion with my peeps. It’s allowed me to refocus my life as I transition from surgery recovery to living life.

What’s happened recently…

My father was diagnosed with a terminal disease at the same time I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer last year. Thankfully, my cancer was able to be removed via surgery. My dads condition has no cure, but it is controlled with new medication. He went in for a separate, but potentially health-related, issue and it was discovered in the process he needed to have a quadruple bypass. He had to stay on bed rest in the hospital for a week while the doctors prepared his body for surgery. Thankfully, he had a successful surgery yesterday and is on the long road to recovery. Prayerful healing over the next year while his body heals.


Did I mention we’re halfway through our bathroom remodel? Always being the father who wants me not to worry about him, he asked me to stay at home and be the project foreman to get the work completed the way I wanted. I threw myself into managing the project while awaiting word via text and phone call of my father and his condition. We were able to talk to him every day and share in his journey.

Construction has been frustrating.

It’s not the construction guys, they’re just doing their job. Having strangers in your home, with your children, disrupting your private time and space is frustrating. Not having private space in your own home is frustrating. Everyone using one toilet in your home is frustrating. You have to make some dust before you rebuild to beauty, but construction dust is the bane of my existence the last few weeks. When we had our wood floors installed, post refrigerator flood, I wholly underestimated the amount of construction dust debris. Even with all the protection provided by our amazing installers, it’s just part of the process.

Oh, and I’m homeschooling. We homeschool year-round, that includes summer.

I’m {reluctantly} learning to go with the flow – give myself and other Grace and Space – and let things go.

It’s not that I don’t want to be easy-going, it’s just not in my nature to not wrap-up loose ends. In the end, however, it’s honestly easier not to micromanage. Allow the process to develop as it will, deal with bumps in the road as they occur.

Not every situation can be foreseen. That’s life.

Which is where I am today: Acceptance to take care of the things I can take care of and pray, then let go of, the things I cannot take care of.

My health: I can control, to a certain extent. I can get my quarterly CA-125 testing, other associated testing as my overall cancer risk is increased, and take care of my body in a responsible way. I had no idea having a complete hysterectomy would change my body chemistry so much that not only would I not be able to bear children, but I’d stop eating a strictly vegan diet, and gain weight. A lot of weight. Try over 20 pounds. It makes everything harder and I am changing my diet, as well as my lifestyle, to continue my evolution.

The only constant in life is change. As Morgan Freeman’s character, Red, in Shawshank Redemption:

“Get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’.”


My father’s health: I cannot control. I can pray, I can offer assistance, I can call and write, but I do not have control. My father has some control, the doctors and nurses have some control, but ultimately God has control.

The construction: I can control some of this, but it will eventually end, the work will be completed, the mess will end. I don’t even feel comfortable complaining about it. I asked for the construction. I like the work being done. Overall, the process has been easy. It’s totally a first-world problem. Short-term. Not on my schedule, but we’re over half-way through.

Understanding there are some things I can do about my health, the construction, my father — but an infinite number of things I cannot do can be frustrating. Changing my perspective and realizing it’s also freeing is a process that’s letting me be free to put my energy into things I can change. Letting go of the frustration and letting the peace flow over me and through me — I needed a process for that. I literally start digging into my garden, plant living things, tend them, move them — I can visually see the change. I can eat the fruits of the blueberry bushes and enjoy the flowers in my garden.

Check out #InMyGarden on my Bikurgurl Instagram or Twitter feeds. #GraceAndSpace is also out there if you’re interested in seeing who I’ve been talking to about it (thanks especially to Melinda {who has a new book coming out soon!}, Annie {poetry magician}, and Rosemary, Ana , Prabhat — as well as many others who have been writing about their journeys ๐Ÿ™‚

Finding a focus, developing a plan, letting the evolution of that plan grow and change when variables change — that’s life. Gardening, construction, life…all things have a beginning, a middle, and an end. It’s our job to not sweat the small stuff and make it better than when we started.

Grace and space is a topic I’ve been writing about lately because I am reminded how much more I need to give myself and then pass on to others.


The gift I give you is to allow yourself grace and space too!

Also, I reblogged a post I Don’t Know How You Do Itย  but have since deleted it. Please go to Kara Anderson‘s blog to read it in full. In my haste yesterday to share her wonderful post, I didn’t respect her intellectual property per her website. She kindly asked me to take it down, which I was more than happy to do. I would like to apologize to her, her readers, and my readers for my oversight.

My sincere apologies to a blogger I’ve enjoyed reading for years, and really inspired me through her writing to write about the things going on in my own homeschool and life. I appreciate your grace and kindness. My learning curve is still evolving. Thank you for understanding!

My quick thoughts regarding I Don’t Know How You Do It :

It’s common for homeschoolers to here, “I don’t know how you do it!”Here’s the thing, I have said that exact phrase to traditional-schooling families for years. I am honestly baffled as to how one gets up at the crack of dawn and prepares young people for a day of school and activities, surely prepping everything the evening before, and planning pick-ups, practices, playdates, and everything else. It feels exhausting just to think about. Staying on a school schedule, not our family schedule, rhythm, and routine, seems overwhelming to me.

Anything we’re not familiar with is foreign. It’s when the comment is said with malice or slander that I get defensive. I’m thankful for our ability to homeschool and other schooling choices for others. We’re lucky to live in a country with so many options to fit our learning styles, lifestyles, and interests. I’m thankful to have so many bloggers who’ve come before me to help me along my way ๐Ÿ™‚

What have you been writing about?

8 thoughts on “Learning Curves, Blogging, Life, and My Garden

  1. What I forgot to mention, and will be pushed to another post, is my children wanting me to ok their images before posting…another post for another day ๐Ÿ˜‰


  2. Good luck with everything Bikurgurl. I’m praying for you and your health, that you continue to stay cancer free. I can relate to the weight gain, having my own condition and having to try many medications over the past 8.5 years, has resulted in much weight gain. It doesn’t seem fair does it? But I hope you are able to lose the weight you want to. Also, praying for your Dad and his health, the construction, and your blogging adventures. Enjoy your weekend my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks — good news with the construction is we’re halfway though; good news with my dad is he’s practically out of the ICU and then he’ll go to a regular hospital room. I’m blessed! Thank you ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

  3. When I am in my garden, small or large, I allow only positive thoughts, I don’t think on the negative.
    I always found it a time for conversation with God, too. Centering. May your garden and your faith give you the grounding to deal with what life tosses at you. It seems that things are coming out okay.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words…I find I work more in my garden when I have idle hands and need to work out my issues…physical labor is something a pen doesn’t do ๐Ÿ˜‰ Things are turning out okay. Construction is frustrating, but the good news is my dad had a successful surgery and is beginning his long recovery. I appreciate your thoughtfulness!


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