Bikurgurl · The-Year-Of-Quality · Writing

Being Present…

I’ve taken a couple days {or more} off writing. I’ve not written on this blog, I’ve not written in real life. I’ve made phone calls I’ve needed to make, taken my children on field trips, done a lot of gardening, and had my phone on mute.

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field trip fun

I’ve been focusing on the Margin in life, but also reflecting on how I’m spending my time, what are my goals, how am I using my time to achieve those goals.

I needed a breather, the margin, to recenter and focus on what really matters.

What really matters is my faith, my family, my health. I had put off having my quarterly blood test to ensure I am still cancer-free. Having been diagnosed, and subsequently been surgically cleared of ovarian cancer, why would I balk at having a measly blood test for CA-125 (Cancer Antigen that can detect the body fighting the ovarian cancer I was diagnosed with)? Was it fear the cancer had returned? Laziness? Busy-ness? I’m not sure, but when it became apparent to me that I was finding reasons not to schedule a blood test, I stopped everything and scheduled it. It was just that easy. It’s a blood draw, not rocket science.

Unfortunately, procrastination is just as easy. As Annie sings, “The Sun will come out tomorrow…you’re only a day away!” There is always tomorrow, but why not Carpe Diem, seize the day?

As I considered why I had procrastinated on getting the blood test last week, which was well within the normal range thank goodness, I realized I may have the wrong perspective of what is important. I have my goals for the year, for the month – but then I keep plowing through life with the goals intact, the intention still there, but the daily practice not in place. You can’t run until you walk, you can’t get started with intention.

So there it is: I got tied up in the busy of life and needed to re-focus on what is important. I called my parents, I wrote some letters, I spent time with my family — and it wasn’t just to school or parent, just for fun. I spent time gardening, went to a plant swap {Green Elephant – post forthcoming!}, spent a day planting all those wonderful free plant trades – spent time practicing yoga, and centering.

Adding the intention, plus the action, can change a goal from an unattainable thing to a work in progress. I am a work in progress; I am giving myself grace as I find my space.

15 thoughts on “Being Present…

  1. Keep up with doing what you need to do. Take all the time you need. Writing can be cathartic but sometimes it is also draining. Hope you get your blood test soon and that it goes well for you. I can understand why you would procrastinate, if the truth is a frightening one. But try to stay positive, you are right in that it is only a blood test. Whatever you learn from it, God is with you and supporting you and your family. Prayers for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sometimes you need a break, I wouldn’t worry about not writing, there are so many things to enjoy with your family, they grow up too soon, enjoy while you can.
    Very pleased to hear your cancer blood test was all good.
    I went last week also with my ACC cancer, another visit in three months time, wish it was all over. With my cancer, you can’t tell with blood tests, just have to wait and hope another lump doesn’t start growing.
    Look after yourself, blessings sent your way.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. First off, good for you continued victory against cancer. Enjoying life and family is the greatest thing we have. Life is a series of events, make sure you have stories to share. My friend, may you have many more stories to tell. πŸ˜€

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your kind words – and agreed, we all have stories to share. Stories of significance. Stories of love, loss, hope, fear, judgement, imprisonment, freedom, anger….forgiveness. As our instructors always end our yoga classes: The divine light in me sees the divine light in you πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Great to hear the test was good. We have a habit of beating ourselves up about what we should or should not be doing. You did did what was right for you at that particular moment in time – you took time out for yourself and your family, and that’s terrific.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. There is nothing wrong with taking time off and getting your priorities straight. We all need to do that time to time. I’m so glad to hear that your blood test turned out well and I hope and pray that it continues to do so.

    Liked by 1 person

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