So, in the first month of moving to Washington State I met a really nice girl in a playgroup who had a son between Xander and Xaven's ages. She invited me to a park playdate and I was happy to accept.

While at the park, she laughed when she saw me interacting with my boys.

She said, "Oh, you're a Hover Mom".

I looked at her questioningly. She laughed, and if I remember right, bent over in laughter, slapped her leg in her own amusement.

I was not amused.

I asked, "What's a Hover Mom?"

She was kind enough to stifle her laughter and explain that a "Hover Mom" is a mother who hovers over her children. She said it like it was a bad thing, like it was something to be ashamed of. As if to say, ". . . the cool moms leave their children to thier own devices in the park so they can sit and gab on the sidelines and drink mochas."

Seriously?!?

I admit, I do like to interact with the boys. I do like to help them play at the park, chase with them, and interact with them. I love who they are and I enjoy the time I have with them. The reason I choose to stay at home with the boys and not work, putting them in someone else's care, is in part because I just love to be with them (and I want to raise my children and teach them the values I value).

That being said, we've seen this mom and her children on a few playdates, but we didn't decide to set another separate playdate for ourselves. I've found a lot of this in Washington, mocking the parents who actually parent while allowing their own children to run amuck. Not enforcing the playground rules: "You slide DOWN a slide and climb UP the ladder", "Take Turns", "Be Aware of Others", and "Safety First". I realize that these rules will be broken in time as the children get older, but at 2 and 4 my job is to teach the children the correct way to live life. To model it as best I can and hope that a little of that gets carried on throughout their lives.

Although as a young woman, I thrived on chaos and bending the rules. As an adult, and a mother, I understandably see the major impact I have on my children. I see that if I spit in the grass, they follow in suit. I see that what I do, my older son does. What my older son does, my younger son does. It's definately a trickly effect. The compounding potential of my actions, the actions of my children, are great.

So, call me a "Hover Mom" - whisper it like it's a dirty word. I know the next thing that is sure to be said is, "Christian?!?" in hushed, sinister tones. I'm ok with that. I'm ok with being the odd ball out - at least I'm getting more used to it ;) I've always marched to the proverbial beat of my own drummer, and this is no exception.

I am far from perfect and have countless opportunities for improvement, as I'm sure most "Hover Moms" would say. But, at the end of the day I can detail what my children have been doing. I can give outlines of the information we're tackling and educational opportunities we've found. I try to be aware that my actions have reactions.

So, the next time you're sipping your mocha on a park bench, ignoring the atrosities your child tries to inflict, know that there are plenty of us "Hover Moms" out there - trying to look out for your kids and repeating the playground rules loudly enough for at least them, if not you, to hear (if you'd get off your phone).